Quora question: why don’t adoptee realize that their birth families have moved on with their lives?

I did not realize the people I started life with had moved on without me because I did not want them to be able to go on without me. I reasoned that saying goodbye to someone forever was kind of like saying they didn’t care if I died. I wanted to be missed and I wanted my absence to have a profound impact. I think that is probably a normal wish. I did not have the maturity you wish for people to be happy without me. It never occurred to my teenage self that people could be sustained by the idea of me living somewhere out there happy and well. Doesn’t everyone want people to cry at their funeral? Actually, the answer to that is no. Not everyone wants people to cry at their funeral. There are people who want their lives celebrated and people to be happy at the memory of them. I was not in that enlighten group, although I like to think I’m better now. Decades have helped the painful process!